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 Social pretenses and Plastic Land

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hǣþen

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Gender : Male Posts : 165
Join date : 2013-05-23
Location : Sigil

PostSubject: Re: Social pretenses and Plastic Land Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:42 pm

Every single day of my life...

I am in the pharmaceutical industry and this goes part and parcel with the whole thing. I have gotten used to it, its expected you see. Most of them, this IS them, this is their identity. Shameless

One must recognize their nature, deal with them, be the wolf in sheeps clothing so to speak. It a way of survival.
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hǣþen

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Gender : Male Posts : 165
Join date : 2013-05-23
Location : Sigil

PostSubject: Re: Social pretenses and Plastic Land Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:06 pm

As you have alluded to, be selective. Eliminate those persons and situations where you know this is going to happen too often. I think its fruitful to think of it in terms of they remind you how you are NOT them.
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Anfang

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Gender : Male Virgo Posts : 1996
Join date : 2013-01-23
Age : 33
Location : CET

PostSubject: Re: Social pretenses and Plastic Land Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:44 pm

Some people have a very strong need to be recognized. To find someone who mirrors them back whatever they would like to hear about themselves.
I think it comes down to receptiveness. Someone tells you a story about themselves or something like that - If you just endure it then he/she is going to keep on yapping. It's not about their story it's about the emotional gratification they derive, their hunger for recognition. If on the other hand you don't offer such a nice mirror. If they see you instead and not themselves then the game is off.

They say "I had that nice vaccation in blabla." You answer "I don't like that place. I prefer blabla."
There are some hardcore cases who'll try to keep on pushing but then you just have to push back harder.

Or if it's someone who is not important to you - one of the strongest insults to such people is saying directly or indirectly "You are boring".

When I was younger I used to run into such people quite often - now, it's almost never happening and if it does then only for a short time. I've grown more impatient and more direct, I guess.

If it's that business small talk then I'm taking over the conversation and make the excuse that I'd like to chat more but I have to do this or that... and do it.

That being said - small talk has become a virtue. That wasn't always the case and I try to change that back, where I can. It's also a huge turn-off. Women chit chat with other women, not with men.

And that picture is horr-ible. The average clown looks better.
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