Fidelity

When gender has become anything goes and all fluid, and you have bisexuals and trans-sexuals, fidelity is a twisted issue.

Quote :

"Existing evidence suggests that the psychological design of romantic jealousy differs for men and women: Men are more likely than women to report greater upset in response to a partner’s sexual than emotional infidelity, whereas women are more likely than men to report greater upset in response to a partner’s emotional than sexual infidelity. However, the observed sex difference can be explained after the fact by both an evolutionary analysis of past reproductive costs and a social constructionist analysis of social and gender role training. Attempting to disentangle these competing perspectives, researchers have measured participants’ upset in response to a sibling’s or a child’s partner’s infidelities. In contrast to what a socialization perspective would predict, participants’ sex did not seem to affect their responses; the key variable was the sex of the sibling or the child, in line with a heuristic application of the evolutionary perspective. The present study attempted not only to test these competing hypotheses but also to extend previous work by involving participants with a gay or lesbian sibling and examining whether participants’ responses are triggered by their sibling’s or sibling’s partner’s sex. In line with an evolutionary perspective, participants’ sex did not assert an effect on their responses. The key variable seemed to be the sex of the sibling (rather than the sex of the sibling’s partner), with participants reporting greater levels of upset in response to the sexual than emotional infidelity of a gay brother’s partner and to the emotional than sexual infidelity of a lesbian sister’s partner. The ensuing discussion offers suggestions for future work on sex-specific triggers of jealousy."

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The Scarlet Letter is one of the few well-directed emotional thrillers.

Bridges of Madison County also comes to mind in the normal case than LGBTs.

Which brings up the question.

Is lust part of love or 'excusable' when it comes to infidelity that is like a one-night stand?

Is fidelity more mental or physical, and does it vary in the gender?

It has to do with the mind/body dualism still dominant in human psychology.

The body does not lie, whereas the mind, using words, symbolism, can, and often does.

Agape is friendship, kinship of mind - shared ideals, goals, motives, interests, attitudes, awareness.
Here fidelity is called loyalty.

Eros is agape plus the physical aspect.
Sometimes the agape precedes eros, sometimes the reverse, it follows eros - developing after intimate physical contact over a period of time.
This is how arranged marriages remain strong in time - that and external socioeconomic cultural pressures pushing the pair together, when they stray, or begin drifting apart.
Infidelity here is physical, since the body is the main contact between the participants.
In friendship the contact is mental, intellectual...emotional.

The external world is also a factor in agape.
It is in relation to world that friends bond in opposition to, as distinct within it.

Infidelity for a man, in an erotic union is more important than it is for a woman, for obvious reasons.
Infidelity, disloyalty, for a woman, in an intellectual, emotional, union is more important, again, for obvious reasons.

The male needs to guarantee that whatever offspring are produced by the union are his own, and a woman wants to guarantee that whatever offspring are produced by the union are taken care of....that she has a reliable helper.

In the past it was the tribe....a groping of females, as with the lion pride, so the male's agape was not that important.

It's compounded as mental and physical, only that the reciprocity deviates between the sexes.
For males, the devotion to intellectual and, or, emotional bonding is a means to potential physical bonding. Clear enough.
There comes a point in effort when closeness needs palpable touch, even if its just in the manner of conviviality.
For women, as opposed to male long-term or strategized action, it is short-term or topical, in that physical bonding is a localized means to emotional or supportive ends.
It's why the internet is perfect for women in need of, to borrow from Lyssa, a "shoulder buddy" or also how the primary revenge for women is to fuck another guy.