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Slaughtz



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams ( Interpretations ) Sun Aug 07, 2016 11:15 pm

A dream I had and my interpretation of it. If there's anything that pops out to anyone else, I'd like to hear it.

Dream:
I have an argument with an old role model/friend/big brother type named Juan. I've known him since I was 15, he is probably around 32 years old now. I have used him for conversation about philosophy, politics and gaming for 10 years now - if you've seen "chillstop80" in my posts, that is him. This dream takes place in a video game called Minecraft. Since there was some interesting political drama involving a game server called "2b2t", I recently picked up the game again and played it. The updates from when I last played years ago forced me to learn new concepts (for in the video game) that night, so that may explain why the dream takes place there.

The argument with him begins with me saying I am fighting and can fight "for my mother" - that I can put family first before everyone and everything else. Juan laughs and says no you cannot or should not. (He always provided some challenge to my positions, so this is not unusual). He threatens physical violence against me, as if to test if that threat would sway me to abandon my position - testing my resolve. It doesn't.  I say "Bring it on." My attitude being: kill me, I will die for her and for family. He attacks and I "defeat" him in the physical altercation; he's injured and holding his nose.

Keeping his eyes on me, he backs away, talking his way out of any further confrontation and retreats. I get suspicious that he gave up so easily; I realize he may be going to attack my mother. Convinced (of the worst), I go to defend her. I find him swinging at her, Minecraft attacking style. I intervene and I "win". He respawns (reviving in a video game way) and acquires an assault jetplane. It is very expensive and he should/would value it highly. When I learn he bought it, I imagine him with a big grin on his face while piloting it. I find him flying around in it where my mother is. I don't know if he was attacking her. Regardless of not knowing, I go on the offensive and kill him in his new jet, crushing the jet in my palm. I'm like the hulk crumbling a tiny toy jet. After he's killed in his jet, I walk off pridefully from my mother, thinking "I showed him." - thinking my blow was devastating enough that he'd quit.. but he messages me, saying "I see. You know you're really fighting for yourself at this point, right?" He says it matter of factly. I pause to consider what he means by that and I realize that he's gone after my mother again. I hurry back and defend her again successfully. He's silent.

In that silence (because he is too silent) I realize the gravity of the situation. He will just recruit a bunch of people to attack my mother, more than I could probably deal with. [Juan was always the leader of gaming communities.] Who am I going to recruit for help to defend my mother? How can I acquire the humility to stop caring about myself for a moment for the sake of defending her? He will say (surely) upon success: "See. You didn't really care or else you would have humbled yourself and recruited people for her defense, by any means necessary.. including manipulating them. You cared more about yourself and your "integrity" than you did her or anything else." I start to become filled with dread.

Then I wake up.

---

Interpretation:
I was hesitant to recruit people. I wanted to handle it by myself. I didn't want to compromise with people by recruiting them because I knew they would try to undermine my love for her anyway, because love ("irrational love" for family, without criteria) is dangerous to their modern "love". My love excludes those I deem unworthy (most) and includes only a few, I consider exceptional. It is a personal thing. I knew I couldn't, in this society of modern "love", recruit anyone for her defense. It was easy for him; he can just appeal to power and say, "Join me and be powerful." He then becomes the group, he ceases "thinking for his own sake" and only of the group.. but as leader he can also steer it and influence it. He says "Kill his mom, or else she's a threat to our group, a person loves someone else and works for the interest of something else than our group and our group's interest. Slaughtz is uncompromising in that. That is a direct threat, a war, against our group - he would put her above our group."

Though, I wonder... why did I think they would kill my mother and not me instead? Certainly I would die if I tried to defend her, but I was safe if I just abandoned my position. My mother would not be safe... he could haes her killed anyway for the sake of testing me. Do they (and "him") value another a zombie over the taking of life? Why not convert my mother instead of me? Maybe she is already converted, or they think so.

Maybe I thought my idea, my meme, of loving my mother was invulnerable. Perhaps the point is that they want me to sacrifice myself for her sake. It's to fight the idea of my love in the eyes of everyone else. It's another challenge, for me to die for my cause or else I'm a hypocrite. It's asking for immense suffering or death to prove my commitment to my idea and not be a hypocrite. They want to show I'm weak and have no conviction, I'm a coward and hypocrite, that I do not value my mother like I say I would when I actually am likely to die and as a result and be unable to protect her, or even value her. I'm not willing to die in what I see a vain way - to die and then they kill her anyway... they want to showcase that I would prefer to live in that case, so I do not actually put family first. That I'm a liar and hypocrite.. and it becomes another example for them to point to and say "See, only hypocrites typically value their family above all else... and you won't expose them if you do not test them like we did."

Perhaps it is that I only love myself - and I am selfish for putting family above everyone else.... The "irrational love" is one in which I value those who look like/resemble me. I look like myself. I am the closest to myself I have in resemblance, so why wouldn't I value myself above everyone else? And family, as well.. as they look closest to me... and those of my tribe who look like me over others, etc. And humans over animals, etc. The modern attack on 'resemblance love'. Then, they say that humans are more alike than anything else, so value all humans instead of family/tribe... Is it appearance they appeal to? Well - to genes.. perhaps, they would say. To avoid saying they appeal to appearance itself; because that would validate the "valuing those similar to you" which would validate valuing yourself over everyone else, and family as a secondary tier, etc... So they cannot use the appearance argument - but how is looking at a DNA code different from the argument of appearance? The DNA code _appears_ to be similar across humans, more-so. They say "DNA" is the measure. Or, they say intelligence is - so one should surrender themselves to the will of the more intelligent or something..

It is nihilism, where they think the meme is separate from the gene - that a meme can exist above and beyond a human (genetic) mind. The denial of reality, where they demand what you commit to be persistent even without the genes, the humans, there to keep it alive. It's saying "See, his meme is human. It bleeds much easier than ours would. Remain safe with our meme; for the group. Try to create a meme which outlasts all genes, with us. Try to collectively leave a noumenal mark on the entropic universe."

Also what worked against me was that I didn't see him as a significant enough threat to have simply killed him earlier.  I had a soft heart, because of our history. I was committed to only killing in a limited sense of self defense, or not at all for ideology. Maybe a savior complex... Where I think all human life has value and I can save if all. If, when he threatened my mother, I would just have completely griefed him and forced him out of existence, then the existential threat to both me and my  other would not have existed. I would have gone to jail, maybe. But my mother wouldn't be threatened by a gang of mob mentality, that's out for vengeance instead of sheer calculating power. The amount of sadistic torture they might inflict on my mother to "prove a point" horrified me. I couldn't blame Juan, though. If nothing else,  I'd have chalked it up to self-interest, a pursuit of power. And, he would rightfully laugh if I let my guard down and joined him/his group in the pursuit of a "utopia" but he then turned on me/betrayed me and I tried to hold him to some standard.. like loyalty. It was threats and self-interest and power, all along.
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Hrodeberto

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PostSubject: Re: Dreams ( Interpretations ) Mon Aug 08, 2016 2:47 pm

Dreams as exact/extant:
It's usually interpretations which are a nightmare, which is not say it as a predicate of right or wrong, as inferences can't be gathered as references to what is given of something, but rather that explaining away or circumventing something like dreams, or the state of dreaming, from the accordance of everyday, abstract, or subjective valuations would effectively defeat any delineation of dreaming. In fact, I think I've read somewhere the view that dreams are in fact meaningless/subjective, that is, responsive, but that is only the result of subjecting the relationship of the sleeping state and waking state to the subjectivity of the latter. From the perspective of either state it gives furtherance to this subjectivity by misasigning roles, positions or expectations. Utimately, the position becomes one of fatalism.

The best way I can describe the approach to dreams is a perception we have both inside and outside of dreams, namely that we can know or visualize something or someone without having to see. It is like conceptualization insofar as it is imaginable.
In this understanding dreams can be representative of an objective perspective to motive to intent and to inspiration because of its emotional direction.
This makes the events of dreams in a way secondary to what is felt or experienced during the course and context of those events: causality as affected, not as reflected. The context of dreams being commensurate with the content and relationships to experienced events in the waking state.


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Stuart-



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams ( Interpretations ) Mon Aug 08, 2016 3:35 pm

Slaughtz wrote:

I have an argument with an old role model/friend/big brother type named Juan. I've known him since I was 15, he is probably around 32 years old now. I have used him for conversation about philosophy, politics and gaming for 10 years now - if you've seen "chillstop80" in my posts, that is him. This dream takes place in a video game called Minecraft. Since there was some interesting political drama involving a game server called "2b2t", I recently picked up the game again and played it. The updates from when I last played years ago forced me to learn new concepts (for in the video game) that night, so that may explain why the dream takes place there.

Also, such a game may represent artificiality.

Quote :
The argument with him begins with me saying I am fighting and can fight "for my mother" - that I can put family first before everyone and everything else. Juan laughs and says no you cannot or should not. (He always provided some challenge to my positions, so this is not unusual). He threatens physical violence against me, as if to test if that threat would sway me to abandon my position - testing my resolve. It doesn't.  I say "Bring it on." My attitude being: kill me, I will die for her and for family. He attacks and I "defeat" him in the physical altercation; he's injured and holding his nose.

Keeping his eyes on me, he backs away, talking his way out of any further confrontation and retreats. I get suspicious that he gave up so easily; I realize he may be going to attack my mother. Convinced (of the worst), I go to defend her. I find him swinging at her, Minecraft attacking style. I intervene and I "win". He respawns (reviving in a video game way)

The disease can't be destroyed.

Quote :
and acquires an assault jetplane. It is very expensive and he should/would value it highly. When I learn he bought it, I imagine him with a big grin on his face while piloting it.

Quantity over quality.

Quote :
I find him flying around in it where my mother is. I don't know if he was attacking her. Regardless of not knowing, I go on the offensive and kill him in his new jet, crushing the jet in my palm. I'm like the hulk crumbling a tiny toy jet.

The metaphor of the jet may have changed to that representing a nihilist ideology; something lacking grounding, and so needing nothing real to temporarily destroy.

Quote :
After he's killed in his jet, I walk off pridefully from my mother, thinking "I showed him." - thinking my blow was devastating enough that he'd quit.. but he messages me, saying "I see. You know you're really fighting for yourself at this point, right?" He says it matter of factly. I pause to consider what he means by that and I realize that he's gone after my mother again. I hurry back and defend her again successfully. He's silent.

In that silence (because he is too silent) I realize the gravity of the situation. He will just recruit a bunch of people to attack my mother, more than I could probably deal with. [Juan was always the leader of gaming communities.]

More on quantity. Nihilism only being a threat becomes of the number of nihilists.

Quote :
Who am I going to recruit for help to defend my mother? How can I acquire the humility to stop caring about myself for a moment for the sake of defending her? He will say (surely) upon success: "See. You didn't really care or else you would have humbled yourself and recruited people for her defense, by any means necessary.. including manipulating them. You cared more about yourself and your "integrity" than you did her or anything else." I start to become filled with dread.

He laughs at the fact that while you supposedly being the realist, and he the nihilist, you in fact might have some ideals unconnected with reality, such as the idea that dealing with nihilists pragmatically for your own purposes can affect your integrity. When in fact, so long as you keep your emotional distance from them it would have no impact on your integrity.

Quote :
Interpretation:
I was hesitant to recruit people. I wanted to handle it by myself. I didn't want to compromise with people by recruiting them because I knew they would try to undermine my love for her anyway, because love ("irrational love" for family, without criteria) is dangerous to their modern "love".

With one foot still in nihilism, you couldn't manage to keep such an emotional distance while using them for your own purposes.

Quote :
My love excludes those I deem unworthy (most) and includes only a few, I consider exceptional. It is a personal thing. I knew I couldn't, in this society of modern "love", recruit anyone for her defense. It was easy for him; he can just appeal to power and say, "Join me and be powerful." He then becomes the group, he ceases "thinking for his own sake" and only of the group.. but as leader he can also steer it and influence it. He says "Kill his mom, or else she's a threat to our group, a person loves someone else and works for the interest of something else than our group and our group's interest. Slaughtz is uncompromising in that. That is a direct threat, a war, against our group - he would put her above our group."

You are a threat to the herd's cohesion, and that's what he speaks of. The herd may know what threatens it, but it also can be easily fooled into thinking that there are other threats; a fact that one with no sympathy for them can use to his advantage. Sympathy being both an effect and a forerunner to love. The fact that you still have some sympathy for them is what stops you from using them. Juan (as you represent him int he dream), not really knowing himself, has no empathy for anyone, and therefore is incapable of sympathy, so using others is easy.

Quote :
Though, I wonder... why did I think they would kill my mother and not me instead? Certainly I would die if I tried to defend her, but I was safe if I just abandoned my position. My mother would not be safe... he could haes her killed anyway for the sake of testing me. Do they (and "him") value another a zombie over the taking of life? Why not convert my mother instead of me? Maybe she is already converted, or they think so.

They don't value you as one with the potential to become a zombie (or become one again), they value you as one with substance that they can feed off so long as you're alive.

Quote :
Maybe I thought my idea, my meme, of loving my mother was invulnerable. Perhaps the point is that they want me to sacrifice myself for her sake. It's to fight the idea of my love in the eyes of everyone else. It's another challenge, for me to die for my cause or else I'm a hypocrite. It's asking for immense suffering or death to prove my commitment to my idea and not be a hypocrite. They want to show I'm weak and have no conviction, I'm a coward and hypocrite, that I do not value my mother like I say I would when I actually am likely to die and as a result and be unable to protect her, or even value her. I'm not willing to die in what I see a vain way - to die and then they kill her anyway... they want to showcase that I would prefer to live in that case, so I do not actually put family first. That I'm a liar and hypocrite.. and it becomes another example for them to point to and say "See, only hypocrites typically value their family above all else... and you won't expose them if you do not test them like we did."

Yes. The feeding metaphor is that of them peeling off the layers of substance, by exposing them. A realist never claims to have a will so powerful that his ideals can never be subverted by more primal emotions (maybe some realist are actually that powerful, but certainly not most), but they interpret it that way and so will use extreme methods to show that there are exceptions to anything they disagree with.

Quote :
Perhaps it is that I only love myself - and I am selfish for putting family above everyone else.... The "irrational love" is one in which I value those who look like/resemble me. I look like myself. I am the closest to myself I have in resemblance, so why wouldn't I value myself above everyone else? And family, as well.. as they look closest to me... and those of my tribe who look like me over others, etc. And humans over animals, etc. The modern attack on 'resemblance love'.

The realist wouldn't claim that 'resemblance love' is anything but selfishness, but nihilists can't see how selfishness and love can related so they think by exposing the selfishness in the 'resemblance love' they are exposing the idea as a hypocritical.

Quote :
Then, they say that humans are more alike than anything else, so value all humans instead of family/tribe... Is it appearance they appeal to? Well - to genes.. perhaps, they would say. To avoid saying they appeal to appearance itself; because that would validate the "valuing those similar to you" which would validate valuing yourself over everyone else, and family as a secondary tier, etc... So they cannot use the appearance argument - but how is looking at a DNA code different from the argument of appearance? The DNA code _appears_ to be similar across humans, more-so. They say "DNA" is the measure. Or, they say intelligence is - so one should surrender themselves to the will of the more intelligent or something..

They will twist logic as needed. One who values the human species in a quantitative way would seek numbers, one who valued it in a qualitative way would seek quality. But furthermore, the designation 'species' is only an abstraction defined by reproductive compatibility. A man find defines his own kind by first looking inward. He takes his own valued qualities and wishes to expand them. So for example, one who values intelligence strives towards people to be more like that, but one who values instinct and physical abilities, such as perhaps a more primal man, would strive for those type of people. The latter is not failing to understand quality, he simply values different qualities.

Quote :
It is nihilism, where they think the meme is separate from the gene - that a meme can exist above and beyond a human (genetic)mind. The denial of reality, where they demand what you commit to be persistent even without the genes, the humans, there to keep it alive. It's saying "See, his meme is human. It bleeds much easier than ours would. Remain safe with our meme; for the group. Try to create a meme which outlasts all genes, with us. Try to collectively leave a noumenal mark on the entropic universe."

Also what worked against me was that I didn't see him as a significant enough threat to have simply killed him earlier.  I had a soft heart, because of our history. I was committed to only killing in a limited sense of self defense, or not at all for ideology. Maybe a savior complex... Where I think all human life has value and I can save if all. If, when he threatened my mother, I would just have completely griefed him and forced him out of existence, then the existential threat to both me and my  other would not have existed. I would have gone to jail, maybe. But my mother wouldn't be threatened by a gang of mob mentality, that's out for vengeance instead of sheer calculating power. The amount of sadistic torture they might inflict on my mother to "prove a point" horrified me. I couldn't blame Juan, though. If nothing else,  I'd have chalked it up to self-interest, a pursuit of power. And, he would rightfully laugh if I let my guard down and joined him/his group in the pursuit of a "utopia" but he then turned on me/betrayed me and I tried to hold him to some standard.. like loyalty. It was threats and self-interest and power, all along.

Maybe it was a savior complex, but it seems it may relate to what i was saying earlier. You're capable of empathy, and so capable of sympathy and love. Too much sympathy, or call it ill placed sympathy, is harmful for a person to have.
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Slaughtz



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PostSubject: Re: Dreams ( Interpretations ) Wed Aug 10, 2016 6:20 pm

Stuart- wrote:
Spoiler:
 

Also, such a game may represent artificiality.

Ideals are also a potential realm of artificiality.


Quote :
Spoiler:
 

The disease can't be destroyed.


While I tried to keep my ideals grounded in appearance, where it may disappear with time to entropy or physical violence - the nihilistic ideal may survive even his death.


Quote :

Quote :
and acquires an assault jetplane. It is very expensive and he should/would value it highly. When I learn he bought it, I imagine him with a big grin on his face while piloting it.

Quantity over quality.

Quote :
Quote :
I find him flying around in it where my mother is. I don't know if he was attacking her. Regardless of not knowing, I go on the offensive and kill him in his new jet, crushing the jet in my palm. I'm like the hulk crumbling a tiny toy jet.

The metaphor of the jet may have changed to that representing a nihilist ideology; something lacking grounding, and so needing nothing real to temporarily destroy.


It was more to do with modern power. The jet represents the height of modern technology and cannot be easily countered by anything. Me, representing a 'realist' ideal, can overcome any sort of violence, even from nuclear weapons or jet planes. However, the nihilistic ideal can outmaneuver the real in a solipsistic inter-subjective human social space. Any amount of imagined possibilities can always serve as a counter to the probability of a realistic outcome, in that space.


Quote :
Spoiler:
 

More on quantity. Nihilism only being a threat becomes of the number of nihilists.

Yes..



Quote :
Spoiler:
 

He laughs at the fact that while you supposedly being the realist, and he the nihilist, you in fact might have some ideals unconnected with reality, such as the idea that dealing with nihilists pragmatically for your own purposes can affect your integrity. When in fact, so long as you keep your emotional distance from them it would have no impact on your integrity.

Here is precisely an issue I've faced, and you've summed it up fairly well. The demands of the modern nihilist says if you are to 'exploit', it must be for the benefit of everyone or not at all. Being a 'believer' in that everything I do is selfish, there is no action I cannot take which would not be able to also be criticized as such by someone. Until I have given up all 'excessive' self-interest, which is really self-interest itself if it is not for the benefit of the whole, then I would not be ethically permitted to act unless I am in a desperate situation where I've lost my faculties. That is, my rational faculties must be reserved for promoting the 'good of all' instead of for myself and my own tastes. Only when I am so deprived and starved that I cannot think straight is when it is accepted I might be able to act selfishly - because, at that point, I was so suffering in a John Stuart Mill sense, that raising myself also raised the average of everyone else.



Quote :
Spoiler:
 

With one foot still in nihilism, you couldn't manage to keep such an emotional distance while using them for your own purposes.


Yes, one foot still in nihilism sums up my predicament. I maintain my foot in there, for its promises and so I may not be totally rejected evolution wise from the masses. As a wanna-be philosopher, that's especially important in modern times. But, what is that aspiration but the desire to make what's dirty appear clean? To be a fashionable philosopher with the modern sparkle and glamour of Hollywood. A metrosexual with the body of a warrior and heart of a woman
Outis wrote:
Placing oneself in this outer space/time, in relation to the emergent unity[nihilistic government/superstate], is a dangerous stance.
One will either be consumed, or expelled, if not killed and/or quarantined...but the primary danger is in the desire to detach and be other than, having to surmount ingrained psychosomatic dispositions.
Once accomplished the process condemns the individual to the consequences of independent evolution, which begin to occur immediately. survival is not certain, but if maintained no reintegration back into the super-organism one has wilfully, or not, extricated one's self from is impossible



Quote :
Spoiler:
 

You are a threat to the herd's cohesion, and that's what he speaks of. The herd may know what threatens it, but it also can be easily fooled into thinking that there are other threats; a fact that one with no sympathy for them can use to his advantage. Sympathy being both an effect and a forerunner to love. The fact that you still have some sympathy for them is what stops you from using them. Juan (as you represent him int he dream), not really knowing himself, has no empathy for anyone, and therefore is incapable of sympathy, so using others is easy.


Well, I would say he cannot empathize with some part of me - or refuses to make the appearances of doing so. In my dream, I must have extended it to being a fact of everyone else. Precisely correct, though, in how I interpreted it as well.. I am a threat to the group's cohesion. I also sympathize... perhaps out of the savior complex, the Christian hero, who must impale himself on a cross for everyone else's sins and forgive them. The hero who, in order to survive, must keep regenerating flesh for the other to feed on. (edit note: in church, you feast on Jesus's flesh. He provides.) When he runs out of his vitality, attempting to feed them, he will find no gratitude or company in acknowledgment of his giving. The naive fool thinking such unprincipled devourers to ever be satisfied. Like dogs, whimpering for more flesh whenever he denies them - or when in great numbers, taking it against his will if he does not properly disguise himself or maintain distance.



Quote :
Spoiler:
 

They don't value you as one with the potential to become a zombie (or become one again), they value you as one with substance that they can feed off so long as you're alive.

Not sure how to take this.



Quote :

Spoiler:
 

Yes. The feeding metaphor is that of them peeling off the layers of substance, by exposing them. A realist never claims to have a will so powerful that his ideals can never be subverted by more primal emotions (maybe some realist are actually that powerful, but certainly not most), but they interpret it that way and so will use extreme methods to show that there are exceptions to anything they disagree with.



Juan had regularly argued that he controls his emotions, not the other way around. I would claim it is impossible to do so, that the animal comes first whether he liked it or not. I saw the assertion that he controlled his emotion as a conceit of his own will, and unrealistic.




Quote :
Spoiler:
 

The realist wouldn't claim that 'resemblance love' is anything but selfishness, but nihilists can't see how selfishness and love can related so they think by exposing the selfishness in the 'resemblance love' they are exposing the idea as a hypocritical.

Juan had told me this before: that all is selfish, even unconsciously. I took it to its logical end, myself, which is that every love is selfish, so 'love' in the pure Christian sense does not exist and is hypocritical.



Quote :
Spoiler:
 

They will twist logic as needed. One who values the human species in a quantitative way would seek numbers, one who valued it in a qualitative way would seek quality. But furthermore, the designation 'species' is only an abstraction defined by reproductive compatibility. A man find defines his own kind by first looking inward. He takes his own valued qualities and wishes to expand them. So for example, one who values intelligence strives towards people to be more like that, but one who values instinct and physical abilities, such as perhaps a more primal man, would strive for those type of people. The latter is not failing to understand quality, he simply values different qualities.

I've asserted the denial of sex (reproduction) is tantamount to the denial of all human advances in thought and noumenal efficiency. But, also, to deny those that persisted in the advancement the reproductive role in sustaining that advancement is likewise a denial of those advances. Thus, 'social issues' of today (e.g. racism, sexism...) To every qualitative distinction on what is human, it is for naught if it cannot reproduce or refuses to. Modernity has gone so far to even leave out the distinction of reproductive ability as a defining trait of 'human'. Qualitatively, my ideal combines instinct (primal man) and strength and intelligence - not just one or the other. Intelligence, if it is compartmentalized to mean "IQ", is not the be-all end-all of human distinction, as within sheltered environments their instincts can be so utterly numb from cowardice that they've lost  any sense of danger as to the fragility of the system which protects them. Technology may become a compensating factor in this, maintaining the system for the LCD of society despite the exceptions.



Quote :

Spoiler:
 

Maybe it was a savior complex, but it seems it may relate to what i was saying earlier. You're capable of empathy, and so capable of sympathy and love. Too much sympathy, or call it ill placed sympathy, is harmful for a person to have.

That is how I see the issue I was tackling, is trying to justify an ethical egoism.. which is probably a contradiction of terms, seeing as ethics is a social mechanism between human beings to create compromises, not justify uncompromising behaviors.


Thanks for the outside perspective.
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PostSubject: Re: Dreams ( Interpretations ) Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:10 am

My father and an old friend stopped in surprise to look at a man in a marketplace quad who had been working out and his upper torso somehow got sliced off by the workout machine cabling. I was running to catch up and ran past my father and friend as a result toward the direction we were headed before. I catch only a glimpse of the horrorific scene. Running past, I find a newer friend waiting to whom I say "we need to meet elsewhere now" and I complain about this place being run down.

The new friend is Mexican, and seemed attached to the run down place by always saying not to bother with more expensive avenues. My father was mostly indifferent about where he was, he adapted to any place pretty well. My older friend (not in contact with any more) still had the personality of himself when younger, maybe involved in my running past (perhaps I felt young with him). Both around 10 years old. So when I turn the corner to the newer friend, I transform into my present age.
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