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polishyouth

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PostSubject: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:37 pm

Hello, here I will post thoughts, pictures etc. from my everyday-ish experiences of my own life. This will never be a discussion of a specific topic or a thinker or a book but obviously what I read and what I live will be reflected deeply into here.
Thanks.
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polishyouth

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:40 pm

On planes of sight, possibility, skies, projection of oneself through eyes into ones own soul through imagination and emotion lived in memories...

I've never felt 'at home' or 'in-tune with' flat, open(ed-up) settings. I enjoy to look at horizons and skies, the window in my house next to the dining table is so finely positioned that despite living in an urban space I get a sight for a very far reaching horizon with the sky above it(a daily picture-painting for my consumption); the opennenes makes one thing of possibility without actually having to have costs and risks of realising it and its requirement of sucrifice of both personal energies and sheer space hit you, the planes flying always making me day dream of travel, movement beyond what is, into a lurky, hypothetical life situation that basks in eternal summer evening yet seems almost possible and certainly 'realised' through the strength of the emotion that is born and dies quickly inside oneself due to already being in an emotionally heightened emotive mood through speculation of the horizon and the sky. The price to pay is that after a descend and a normalisation of the plane of vision everything normalises even quicker than it rose on top and that, because of that, and I suspect due to some masculine inclination(for solidity and precision)one always leaves the peaks and the elevations a little wobbly, a little intoxicated and dizzy at the same time feeling the sting of dissapointment within himself. The opposite is the sizing-up of a mountain whilst already in the presence of its shadow...
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polishyouth

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:53 pm

I've never claimed to enjoy things people claim to enjoy, quite the opposite, I've always stated honestly that I hate not being able to smoke or drink(through self-restriction), to exercise very hard weekly, to be kind and self-restrained in a civil facade(that I embrace and think of as my duty to carry-out to best of my ability...)These things that people, sometimes cowardly, sometimes naively though mostly due to a fair mixture of these two plus others, claim to have 'ingrained' in them and have them 'by nature' have always came to me as self-contradictory(as in my own self)dispositions that I felt strongly about in that I had to control them as a duty to myself and others(civilization) and that have and will always remind me of my 'other self'(though their manifestation as in the impulses and drives behind them and the structures causing the latter remain always present and always active in 'me') as much as the degree to which I control them will remind me of my self-worth as a civil man. I had days where I layed on my bed day by day without washing and only getting up to eat and counciously indulge in the shallow pleasure just as I had days of great glory and bravery...I can't do both all the time, I am  too weak yet strong enough to consistently skew myself toward glory and courage...
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polishyouth

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:58 pm

A teen boy hates his mother because she is that which he is and that out of which he comes and her presence and her attitude towards him reminds him he isn't a grown-up but a weak and naive child. He too can hate his father or look 'over' him as he himself hasn't been to the naively imagined lands of adult reality he rarely thinks of and when doing so picturing his(parents) house without them(which isnt the same with their absence in it).
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polishyouth

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:03 pm

An idiot requires a presence of at least Nietsche or Aristotle to engage his intellect, learn and grow. An old lady with an attitude that demands of me to help with her bags suffices.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:08 pm

I've never cheered in my own victory, never cried in my defeat though through many imagined crises I went through I have shed many tears but never in others presence, never to their knowledge...I am no center, of little importance, just because I cant handle certain things doesn't mean the whole world should listen to my squeling and to these people that I matter the last thing I want is to be a generator of dark clouds over their heads...
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:13 pm

When we say 'I enjoy harsh climates' what we mean is 'I enjoy standing dressed up warmly in a peacful snowy evening with my pipe being the only thing requring fire and a thermos full of dark coffee held by warm fingers wrapped in a furry glove being the only thing requring attention and coordination... He who stood in snow in winter without shoes on his feet for 10 mintues will learn to only appreciate weather and its passing beauty, not love it like a fool from disneyland.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:15 pm

I often did things that fools consider dagnerous and cool only to then laugh at myself with a sarkastic grim in my soul steering back into my eyes for buying into the lie whilst doing them.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:17 pm

Weed is shit and fits a philosopher as much as downs syndrome or black skin.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:23 pm

Many fools have bullied me...many have thrown threaths and provocations in my direction...fools, you fools...if you cross the line with me you will wake up in a hospital with a broken jaw and teeth in your intestines without the slightest idea who did it to you...
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Fri Mar 23, 2018 2:53 pm

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Tue Mar 27, 2018 12:17 pm

No possible understanding can be achieved between the true pagan and the true Christian...it is not a question of logic or knowledge but of an organic personality...the Christian is by nature a feminine that wants something to submit to, something to set an absolute standard and to dominate absolutely whilst the pagan is by nature masculine and wants something to measure his worth against in the process of struggling against it the best he can whilst being able to see clearly the limits and hierarchies he is placed within so that his risktaking and his energies are spent and risked productively instead of suicidally. The pagan cant understand how one would want to perpetuate an enhanced state of being parented/reared eternally with the only goal being submission whilst the Christian cant understand the purpose of risk taking and pain for he completely doesnt understand the concept of honour and nobility.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:16 am

What I value about myself most: honesty toward others and myself.
What I value about my father the most: the extremity of rigidity in following his principles through to their end.
What I value about my mother the most: that I am able to see her when she is happy.
What I value about my younger brother the most: his loyalty and honesty and that he is my own reflection with a different face giving me a different 'look' onto myself.
What I value about my older sister: that she says good-night every night without an err to me whichever way possible at the time.
What I value about my younger sister: she reminds me how cold and ruthless a woman can be, that a woman can be equally as beatiful of an existential spectacle as a principled man in her seperate way.
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:53 pm

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Evola is a good read, I think early chapters are especially important to contextualize Petersons crusade, I also think(whilst having a deep love for written poetry) that his style should be emulated by all philosophical writers(it inspires me to write in such concise and clear way when not dealing with hyperbolics). I am aware of Nietschze(though I have never red him) and his stand on hyperboles and on latter commentary of Sloterdejik(I red him properly) in his books but despite that I think if not the whole philosophy then at least its style(through which it builds its hyperbole)should strive to be clear and concise(so that even though one attempts at an aproximation or expression of an approximation one does it clearly and in plain sight under the styles light).
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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:00 pm


I realise LOTR is naive and moralistically simple but this scene strack a cord with me always, the mass slaughter of white men in WW1, the usage of poison, of barbed wire... then WW2, the Warsaw uprising where children, blind peoples, all sorts of handicapped peoples or erderly charged germans with sticks often or throwing rocks...the children Hitler deployed to defend Berling, the erderly, women...We have at that time were already in a state of deep crisis not as some think of our civilizational height...though one must always remember that Hitler was the noblest and most civilized of them all(Hitlers table talks were he supposidly praises Stalin as a 'great realist' are counterfit despite what Peterson claims) and Third Reich resembled our civilizational peak the most; the fat fuck Churchill and the midget Stalin were the real monsters and disgusting freaks not him...
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polishyouth

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PostSubject: Re: My own thoughts Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:54 am

Between porno and social media and games they have found space for Nietzsche, between will to power and god is dead they have found place for liberal humanitarism.
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