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OnWithTheirHead
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PostSubject: t Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:59 pm

Thinking about taking testosterone, I keep getting ads saying I need testosterone or else i will be depressed lethargic and low sex drive, and that my body will be in pain. I have all the symptoms, body aching, low sex drive, depressed, lethargic.

i am a broken person wandering through the aimless winds of modernity (mediocrity.) The struggles of the human animal condition plague my mind. i shapeshift having no real identity, my identity fluctuates minute by minute hour to hour. i have no race to call my own. my writing style is similar to Rabbi Shekelstein (Joker) and i feel no real connection to most other human beings and talking to them makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

i also have some belly fat which lowers my testosterone as well. but i was randomly born into a male's body. i hate being male but my needs supercede my wants. this cat only has nine lives and there is only so much magic can do to heal my illness. Sometimes you have to just run things on a certain hardware.

my worry is twofold. my main worry is that testosterone will make me look more like a negro, and less like an aryan, and lose my neoteny. i notice the older i became the more neoteny i lost, testosterone turning me into a negro which made me despair. the second thing is, it is counterproductive to have a high sex drive in america with the state of difficulty of american women. I find the lower my testosterone is the more easily women approach me. but having high testosterone seems to drive them away. With craigslist banned and prostitution illegal there is no easy sex with a female. thus testosterone will only serve to frustrate and cloud my mind. males with high testosterone tend not to be deep thinkers. So i am not sure if i should take the t. But I am thinking of going to thailand and take T 1 day before i arrive and buy a bunch of prostitutes so i can no longer be sexually frustrated by america.
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Anfang

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PostSubject: Re: t Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:58 pm

Start lifting and increase the amount of meat and vegetables.
Decrease sugar wheat, corn and soy.

And decrease the jerking off rate.
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Anfang

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PostSubject: Re: t Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:22 pm


Also, read some Evola, this will help with the self-control.
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OnWithTheirHead
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PostSubject: Re: t Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:45 pm

lol. that guy needs to loosen up.

but next time at the library i will see if there are any of those books.
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PostSubject: Re: t Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:48 pm

Anfang wrote:
Start lifting and increase the amount of meat and vegetables.
Decrease sugar wheat, corn and soy.

And decrease the jerking off rate.

i have almost no sex drive and i hate jerking off, it feels boring and meaningless and strange. i believe in love and america is a loveless world of feminism which makes me rage, i feel i can only orgasm with a true noble woman who is the soulmate of my dreams.

i ate meat yesterday because i am an asshole who doesnt care about animals anymore. when i get abused i start eating meat because i no longer give a shit and my heart is broken.

i should eat less pop but pop cures me of depression temporarily. And i eat soy because regular milk causes arthiritis. In a world of sane humans where people were reasonable, we should all be drinking human breast milk I believe it may even be the elixir of immortality. But due to feminism, they will say human breast milk is sexist and evil.

but tomorrow i shall go to the park and exercise my abs.
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PostSubject: Re: t Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:33 pm

Okay so yesterday I was putting my playlist together and found two alice cooper songs. The alice cooper music videos boosted my testosterone to over 5000.

I saw his "Poison" video and I related to him. It reminded me of a hot girl I was in love and in the music video, the girl was hotter than porn. It was hotter than porn because he was a sexually frustrated, beautiful Aryan man of coolness, but in chains. And in porn it is usually fugly dudes or generic lesbos.

I started to get flashbacks and PTSD reminded of how our relationship never worked out and I never got to have sex with her or even cuddle. My testosterone started to rise above 5000. But the chords of the song saved me as I started to cry, i started to cry but the voice of alice cooper saved the tears from falling out of my eyes. next i saw a demonic video of his of a roller coaster. and hot girls were everywhere and my testosterone started to skyrocket, maybe over 12000.

and then i realized why i was never gungho about testosterone, i cant handle it i cant handle the lust especially in this day and age of feminism and illegal prostitution. Back when craigslist was allowed I tried a prostitute one time, but she was so obese I just decided to leave.

So after the videos i focused my will and forced myself to be detached. i quieted my sex drive with all my will power and forced a depression on myself. i said alice cooper is in the past. it is no longer today. Today i will focus and have no sex drive.

Thus i believe imagination and fantasy are male qualities. i think that is what males drive to build cities and civilizations and inventions, their imagination. this brings me to my next point, the feminization of mankind and david bowie and michael jackson.

now like all musicians, many david bowie and michael jackson songs are boring trash. But some of their songs are really good and boost my adrenaline. My view of the music industry is that "musical geniuses" are in their infancy, artists just beginning to tap into the alien potential of music. I believe there has not been a true musical genius yet. I believe their are occassional geniuses or accidental geniuses, but by and large humanity has not tapped into the giant spiritual oil well that is musical theory. To be honest most music i click off after 3 seconds if it does not capture my attention. I believe humans are not traumatized or mature enough to honestly judge music. I am a fucked up and traumatized person, like a royal ruler, and thus when music is presented to my throne, it takes much for me to say "This is good music." Where as the average person, is so soft that everything sounds good to them, they compensate for other's musical incompetence with their mind.

Now what im saying is, i dont fully agree with Satyr about the feminization of mankind. For example, last night, I had some sexy dreams about some hot busty women. The dream world is the only time I am happy. I am not happy in the real world and I hate the real world. In my dream world I am rich and can do stuff. In the dream world the world is not degenerate, but the opposite, opulent. All of the hotels are fancy and some are gold trimmed. There are arcades in casinos. I am driving down the highway at 100 or 200 mph. I live in good places and my mother is nice to me in my dreams. I enjoy going to parks and cities are opulent with amazing restaurants, i love going to nature and even in my dreams I enjoy playing sports, its like the people in sports in my dreams are nice friendly people, not evil rude people like in real life.

Now you can argue that my dreams are more masculine because i enjoy sports in my dreams, but hate sports in real life. But I can argue that my dreams are more feminine, because everything is more beautiful, the cities are more beautiful, everyone is kinder, the females in my dream are nurturing, my mom is in my dreams being nice to me, and I enjoy going to the park in my dreams and it feels feminine to me to go on these nature vacations. In real life when i go on nature vacations i feel like scrooge, which is masculine. Thus what i am saying is, feminization of mankind does not explain the disease of mankind's modernity.

This is because of nikola tesla, he was an incel who complained of the modern non-nurturing woman. The modern woman is becoming masculine and devoid of nurturing love. I believe society as a culture is becoming more masculine, because buildings are all turning grey and devoid of colour. Colour is a female trait Females are better at naming colours and having deeper colour vocabulary. If modernity was represented as My Little Pony, it would be that Rarity and Pinkie Pie have been banished to the dream world, Rainbow Dash is president, and AppleJack, Fluttershy and TwilightSparkle have been condemned to lives of quiet resignation.

now back to the david bowie michael jackson thing, they are feminized males, yet their songs give the spark of life, they are not the modernity. Modernity is like sam smith. Sam Smith looks like a man, but his songs makes your testosterone go -5000. this is the marylyn manson phenomenon, marylyn manson, a man tries to be a woman, which is Feminization of mankind. Justin beiber, born a feminine man, tries to be a Masculine man. and when people throw water bottles on them on stage, justin beiber is a pussy and marlyn manson stands up for himself.

thus i believe that males are getting pussified. I am neutral about this because, honestly, if all males are pussified that gives me a free ticket, its like 99% of males I see walking around I am not afraid of and would not even be a challenge for me in a fight. So this is kind of a good thing in my book. But at the same time, I deeply notice something wrong with modern society like it is sucking out my soul. I think what is happening to society, to accurately say, is it's becoming less Flamboyant. I think that is what draws people to the internet, is the internet is the last place people are allowed to be flamboyant, or "trolls". I think what is happening is the Greyification of society. Everything is politically correct and must be approved by corporate. Sex is illegal. Fun is illegal. Thus I mean to say is, that what is happening is the de-Flamboyantification of society. For example, gays like Anderson Cooper, are no longer flaming gays, but corporate suits. The Nickelodeon building, is no longer purple, green, and orange, but grey and white. That males are becoming pussified is the objective, to enslave the planet. But I don't think the pussification of males, is an accurate label of the event. I think pussification of males is just a side goal, but the man goal is the de-Flamboyantification of society, applying to both genders. Females are made less feminine, mother nature is female, feminity is shamed. Let me explain it like this.

A good song either boosts your testosterone, boosts your estrogen, or both. Now modern music, like sam smith, what it does is is it reduces all your hormones to -5000. it sets your testosterone to -5000. it sets your estrogen to -5000. it sets your adrenaline to -5000. What this is, is a war against the human Spirit.

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