Things that are exquisitely horrible: Commercials, especially if narrated by modern Americans.
- Mouse, often jitters around uncontrollably.
The commercials, make me want to punch things, but I am forbidden to do so, so I bottle up my feelings, causing in me a deep physical sickness.
When I wake up in the morning, I usually forget my dreams, almost instantaneously. My dreams are the best part of my life, and for some reason, as soon as I wake, I forget them all instantly. This is part of nature.
Mainly it is this sickness, a feeling of overwhelming nauseating and unexplainable ennui in the mornings. It's not that I have nothing to do, I have plenty to do, I just deep down don't really feel interested.
Part of nurture, is my mornings are exquisitely horrible due to modernity.
I think of all the rotten people who have done me wrong, and how they are utterly sheltered from retribution by means of modernity. I do not ask for the right to be a killer, all I ask is to have the right to a fair fight, of which I am utterly denied.
After this feeling of being denied, I think think about all the tasks and chores I must do for the rest of the day, and my nausea begins to build, my lower feet begin to tighten, legs begin to strain.
Then I am further plagued by a mix of nature and nurture, I think upon the struggle of the modern dating system, and how gorgeous, hot women are bombarded upon my eyes, but then I am shamed by feminism for lust, told I must court a woman, made to court a woman, which is risky business as is, as each day increases the chances of making one wrong move, and losing her for good. I think upon Coach Red Pill, who tells me I am worthless until age 30, and women only want me for my wealth. Mountains build within me, a sense that society is cold and does not value you, and that you will be forever sexually frustrated and sick, until you achieve material goods.
The final mountain is that I hate the body nature gave me, I hate that I was randomly thrust into the body of an interracial, it seems like nature gave me bad cards to begin with, and the sheer randomness of the causation is a mystery to me.
It is ever a wonder, how the laws of physics had to be tweaked just so, so I had to end up in this shitshow.
That is not to say, that it couldn't get worse. I could have a factory job where I work from dawn till dusk as a hopeless slave.