Hello, here I will post thoughts, pictures etc. from my everyday-ish experiences of my own life. This will never be a discussion of a specific topic or a thinker or a book but obviously what I read and what I live will be reflected deeply into here. Thanks.
On planes of sight, possibility, skies, projection of oneself through eyes into ones own soul through imagination and emotion lived in memories...
I've never felt 'at home' or 'in-tune with' flat, open(ed-up) settings. I enjoy to look at horizons and skies, the window in my house next to the dining table is so finely positioned that despite living in an urban space I get a sight for a very far reaching horizon with the sky above it(a daily picture-painting for my consumption); the opennenes makes one thing of possibility without actually having to have costs and risks of realising it and its requirement of sucrifice of both personal energies and sheer space hit you, the planes flying always making me day dream of travel, movement beyond what is, into a lurky, hypothetical life situation that basks in eternal summer evening yet seems almost possible and certainly 'realised' through the strength of the emotion that is born and dies quickly inside oneself due to already being in an emotionally heightened emotive mood through speculation of the horizon and the sky. The price to pay is that after a descend and a normalisation of the plane of vision everything normalises even quicker than it rose on top and that, because of that, and I suspect due to some masculine inclination(for solidity and precision)one always leaves the peaks and the elevations a little wobbly, a little intoxicated and dizzy at the same time feeling the sting of dissapointment within himself. The opposite is the sizing-up of a mountain whilst already in the presence of its shadow...
I've never claimed to enjoy things people claim to enjoy, quite the opposite, I've always stated honestly that I hate not being able to smoke or drink(through self-restriction), to exercise very hard weekly, to be kind and self-restrained in a civil facade(that I embrace and think of as my duty to carry-out to best of my ability...)These things that people, sometimes cowardly, sometimes naively though mostly due to a fair mixture of these two plus others, claim to have 'ingrained' in them and have them 'by nature' have always came to me as self-contradictory(as in my own self)dispositions that I felt strongly about in that I had to control them as a duty to myself and others(civilization) and that have and will always remind me of my 'other self'(though their manifestation as in the impulses and drives behind them and the structures causing the latter remain always present and always active in 'me') as much as the degree to which I control them will remind me of my self-worth as a civil man. I had days where I layed on my bed day by day without washing and only getting up to eat and counciously indulge in the shallow pleasure just as I had days of great glory and bravery...I can't do both all the time, I am too weak yet strong enough to consistently skew myself toward glory and courage...
A teen boy hates his mother because she is that which he is and that out of which he comes and her presence and her attitude towards him reminds him he isn't a grown-up but a weak and naive child. He too can hate his father or look 'over' him as he himself hasn't been to the naively imagined lands of adult reality he rarely thinks of and when doing so picturing his(parents) house without them(which isnt the same with their absence in it).
An idiot requires a presence of at least Nietsche or Aristotle to engage his intellect, learn and grow. An old lady with an attitude that demands of me to help with her bags suffices.
I've never cheered in my own victory, never cried in my defeat though through many imagined crises I went through I have shed many tears but never in others presence, never to their knowledge...I am no center, of little importance, just because I cant handle certain things doesn't mean the whole world should listen to my squeling and to these people that I matter the last thing I want is to be a generator of dark clouds over their heads...
When we say 'I enjoy harsh climates' what we mean is 'I enjoy standing dressed up warmly in a peacful snowy evening with my pipe being the only thing requring fire and a thermos full of dark coffee held by warm fingers wrapped in a furry glove being the only thing requring attention and coordination... He who stood in snow in winter without shoes on his feet for 10 mintues will learn to only appreciate weather and its passing beauty, not love it like a fool from disneyland.
I often did things that fools consider dagnerous and cool only to then laugh at myself with a sarkastic grim in my soul steering back into my eyes for buying into the lie whilst doing them.
Many fools have bullied me...many have thrown threaths and provocations in my direction...fools, you fools...if you cross the line with me you will wake up in a hospital with a broken jaw and teeth in your intestines without the slightest idea who did it to you...
No possible understanding can be achieved between the true pagan and the true Christian...it is not a question of logic or knowledge but of an organic personality...the Christian is by nature a feminine that wants something to submit to, something to set an absolute standard and to dominate absolutely whilst the pagan is by nature masculine and wants something to measure his worth against in the process of struggling against it the best he can whilst being able to see clearly the limits and hierarchies he is placed within so that his risktaking and his energies are spent and risked productively instead of suicidally. The pagan cant understand how one would want to perpetuate an enhanced state of being parented/reared eternally with the only goal being submission whilst the Christian cant understand the purpose of risk taking and pain for he completely doesnt understand the concept of honour and nobility.
What I value about myself most: honesty toward others and myself. What I value about my father the most: the extremity of rigidity in following his principles through to their end. What I value about my mother the most: that I am able to see her when she is happy. What I value about my younger brother the most: his loyalty and honesty and that he is my own reflection with a different face giving me a different 'look' onto myself. What I value about my older sister: that she says good-night every night without an err to me whichever way possible at the time. What I value about my younger sister: she reminds me how cold and ruthless a woman can be, that a woman can be equally as beatiful of an existential spectacle as a principled man in her seperate way.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Evola is a good read, I think early chapters are especially important to contextualize Petersons crusade, I also think(whilst having a deep love for written poetry) that his style should be emulated by all philosophical writers(it inspires me to write in such concise and clear way when not dealing with hyperbolics). I am aware of Nietschze(though I have never red him) and his stand on hyperboles and on latter commentary of Sloterdejik(I red him properly) in his books but despite that I think if not the whole philosophy then at least its style(through which it builds its hyperbole)should strive to be clear and concise(so that even though one attempts at an aproximation or expression of an approximation one does it clearly and in plain sight under the styles light).
I realise LOTR is naive and moralistically simple but this scene strack a cord with me always, the mass slaughter of white men in WW1, the usage of poison, of barbed wire... then WW2, the Warsaw uprising where children, blind peoples, all sorts of handicapped peoples or erderly charged germans with sticks often or throwing rocks...the children Hitler deployed to defend Berling, the erderly, women...We have at that time were already in a state of deep crisis not as some think of our civilizational height...though one must always remember that Hitler was the noblest and most civilized of them all(Hitlers table talks were he supposidly praises Stalin as a 'great realist' are counterfit despite what Peterson claims) and Third Reich resembled our civilizational peak the most; the fat fuck Churchill and the midget Stalin were the real monsters and disgusting freaks not him...
Between porno and social media and games they have found space for Nietzsche, between will to power and god is dead they have found place for liberal humanitarism.
I only now realise I underappreciated my own father as a teenager(and my mother with him as a familial unit). He, despite being very tall and most muscular and thick boned man I ever met, is or can come off as a very soft person which is indeed true to a degree in that he loves to gauge on food and is mostly like a child seeking motherly treatment or cheerful banter(he lost a mother tragically and both his grandparents were executed by Germans and my grandfather was one of more notorious criminals and violent thugs in that area of Poland) and doesn't have an ambitious or agressive drive or self-discipline besides the minimum he does to give us a respectable living standard(he works hard whilst working though) and I resented him when I was younger for it, blaiming him for me having to become a dog begging English to accept us and help us sustain ourselves and cursing him for not being a stronger leader and role model(which was my resentment of myself seeking excuses) but now I've realised that what he and she created is better than half boys my age get. They have created a functional family unit where the woman was loyal and obedient to a man(though he never commanded or dominated her crudely or even purposefully) and my father is very intimidating and firm when he stands his ground(incredibly self disciplined when he decides to do something out of conviction) but is communicative and rational and thus they were able to raise me and create an honour system consisting of core values that they have initially sustained through my fathers mental/physical dominance and now it is receding but I am too growing older and more responsible and I take on the responsibility of carrying on that legacy willingly; that is something a father that sees his kid 2 days a week or doesnt see it at all can never hope to accomplish for the woman will always be the obstacle in his way that can at any time render him incapable of protecting and teaching his son by appealing to the system. Nature is nature, humans are humans, most boys need a whip on their backs thorughout their puberty and earlier to behave in a civilized way and we are seeing the consequences of the lack of that intervention in our culture. When I was younger I really feared my father, fear demands respect, through respect one can guide and shelter until the time one must go out into the world himself. FUCKFEMINISM
Weed is shit and fits a philosopher as much as downs syndrome or black skin.
Hold up, got to stop u right there.
What strain of weed are you talking about?
It was more of a sarcastic statement against the hippie kind of thinker who seeks escape instead of confrontation, ease instead of pain, confusion instead of clarity and I added the negro remark as negros hold on average least potential for philosophy of all races. I dont know anything about weed, only smoked it once and hated it, I prefer alcohol; I dont well good when I feel my ability to defend myself and go after my goals is diminished greatly - with alcohol anything becomes a cavalry charge, with weed you look like a man whos been locked in a dungeon and raped by 20 Mexicans for over 20 years and are contemplating which way to suicide within next hour.
Weed is shit and fits a philosopher as much as downs syndrome or black skin.
Hold up, got to stop u right there.
What strain of weed are you talking about?
It was more of a sarcastic statement against the hippie kind of thinker who seeks escape instead of confrontation, ease instead of pain, confusion instead of clarity and I added the negro remark as negros hold on average least potential for philosophy of all races. I dont know anything about weed, only smoked it once and hated it, I prefer alcohol; I dont well good when I feel my ability to defend myself and go after my goals is diminished greatly - with alcohol anything becomes a cavalry charge, with weed you look like a man whos been locked in a dungeon and raped by 20 Mexicans for over 20 years and are contemplating which way to suicide within next hour.
Give me a minute give me a bit I am going to need a while to think of what to say to this
What I value about myself most: honesty toward others and myself. What I value about my father the most: the extremity of rigidity in following his principles through to their end. What I value about my mother the most: that I am able to see her when she is happy. What I value about my younger brother the most: his loyalty and honesty and that he is my own reflection with a different face giving me a different 'look' onto myself. What I value about my older sister: that she says good-night every night without an err to me whichever way possible at the time. What I value about my younger sister: she reminds me how cold and ruthless a woman can be, that a woman can be equally as beatiful of an existential spectacle as a principled man in her seperate way.
Recently watched this creep Zizek complement a movie about an incest relationship; calling it a soft and gentle affair that he 'enjoys' so much between a son and his mother... I can imagine raping a man in his ass or raping a woman or even having anal sex with a woman(though vaginal sex in a missionary position still makes only sense to me) without really being shook but the thought of having sex with my sister or mother is one of these few things that really, really repulse me from my bones up and leave me wanting to puke...disgusting...
Satyr Daemon
Gender : Posts : 37110 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 58 Location : Hyperborea
The gradual 'normalization' of paraphilia is part of the disease and its degradation. On all fronts the host is degraded, from linguistics to morals, and from identity to sexuality.
The virus deconstructs the host, converting it to ideals represented by symbols with no external reference. This is part of brainwashing, its detaching of ideal from the real; the noumena from phenomena. With no objective standard it all becomes a matter of subjective appeal.
stuff i wrote but decided to discard as to not make the thread off-topic in the thread called body language ----- Cypriot Greek, very wierd guy, would go from calling blacks niggers and slanting them worse than I ever did in my life to dating and complementing nigger-esses beauty and their 'unique' ability to 'make it', he also made a friend with some boring, imbecyle son of a multi-millionaire from Greece too who had some fast-food shops and clubs...the way this guy worshipped him...they would go to resteurants and he behaved like a woman, dressing up special and complementing him, totally consumed by the guys status and wealth and his temporary ability to associate himself with it... Most Greeks I've met were wierd like that and females are loud and too flirty but I've met a very nice Greek who came to me to visit me in hospital randomly(I've met him through dads work), he didnt speak much English but was very much Western European in his manners and views, his wive is a doctour...last time I heard he is working 12h plus 7 days a week to sustain his family here(though I dont judge whole nation like that because my sample size is way too small and the area I live doesnt house best quality peoples, especially ones that didnt do anything to escape the shitholes some areas of London became but I suspect mixing with Arabs and niggers made some whites a little wonky and feral). [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] the guys whole profile if anybody wants to invesitage and learn from it, wouldnt do it normally but he thieved from me so fuck him
Satyr Daemon
Gender : Posts : 37110 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 58 Location : Hyperborea
Modern Greeks are dominated by aesthetics and symbols. I could never relate to them. i suspected that I was of another creed....given that I also prefer cold weather and mountains. Had a DNA test...and I'm 98% Mediterranean.
Another hypothesis is that the modern Greeks have bee corrupted after 400 years of Turkish rule and by the Abrahamic infection. You can still see the spirit that produced the golden Age of Athens, but then it becomes superficial and hedonistic. Athens lost the war but won in the long run.
People have no shame, they have plenty of 'guilt'; the politically normalized and distributed guilt that isn't actually assimilated fully into their personalities neither acted upon but only accepted indefinitely as a symbol or a token one wears and exposes when time is proper and uses as a social status marker, as a personal responsibility and goodness in relation to the societal standard and demand for certain behaviors and morals. It's being proud of being guilty, it's being guilty without trying to fix the source of guilt, it's not even real guilt but the political power tool of propaganda and control that hides its mechanism and goal behind the loaded word describing the emotion of guilt since these guilty people aren't actually guilty or conscious of anything but rather are guilty to the social expectations and norms that they submit to like slaves; you are guilty of slavery but not of the 1/10 child in Eastern Europe that is starving daily, of the primitive peoples that are destroyed by the coffee you drink and the phone you purchase, you aren't guilty of nations like Greece or Ukraine and their peoples destroyed by political elites and their peoples sentenced to dog-like gypsy travel and immigration... pathetic slaves, drones...somebody could be choking and muzzling on a metro and these proxies wouldn't move their finger...everything has to be done through a proxy, the actual personality and its expression reserved for gangster rap and facebook fighting, the sexual expression reserved for bathroom with Vaseline and your phone on your lap...dogs...
If I'm guilty of something I immediately address it, sometimes I accept the source of guilt and no longer feel guilty for I tried all in my power to change it, If I ever feel frisky thinking about my mother(or get flirty with children or get an urge to flash to teenage girls)and sister I will cut my balls off with a knife and make sure guilt isn't the thing that will be my priority...
Patriarcha ypical loser Priest slaps a crying baby around.
I'm done mincing words. It's time for married priests.
Married, with children, as a prerequisite. Not married? No children? You don't get in.
Time to fuck the no-hopers, losers, limp-wrists and child-fiddlers off. Get them out. DRIVE them out.
I'm so fed up with these pathetic creatures who have taken Christendom and through sheer cowardice, incompetence and weakness have allowed it to slide into Sodom.
Don't clutter up my comments with crap about holy celibates and what about people who can't have children, blah, blah, fucking blah.
No wife, no kids, no priest. ---- Shes on his period it seems like...
curt doolittle REVEL IN OUR TIME. Only once every few centuries do men get a choice to leave an enduring mark on history. Let us leave one that last TEN THOUSAND YEARS. Sovereignty, Reciprocity, Truth, and Duty.
