Opposite forces forming paradoxes

You know how there are these paradoxical sayings like:
the more you try to control something the more it controls you
the more you hide your feelings, the more they show. the more you deny your feelings, the more they grow
pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall
whoever will exalt himself will be humbled and whoever will humble himself will be exalted
for when I am weak, then I am strong

Note how these are from Buddhism and the Bible (so, nihilistic systems).

But the same logic applies largely everywhere in secular systems too, especially modern psychology. For example the best seller 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene contains the passage that says "discover every man's weakness". And on how to do that exactly, the book goes: "look for contrasts; those who walk with the chest uphold are often big cowards, and on the other hand those closed ones are often craving for great adventures". The quote from David Gemmell comes to mind: "only the coward is capable of the highest heroism"

Also there are those theories that "good girls" go for bad guys because the "good girls" are really just inhibited, trying their hardest to repress their "bad" features. And so the subconscious mind wants to be "complete"; the bad guy frees the good girl from "being good". So basically this sounds to me very much like the old "opposites attract" thing and also, a little bit paradoxical in a way that those Buddhist or Biblical proverbs do.

I understand there can sometimes be tactical reasons to apply Sun Tzu's strategy "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak" but this would be meaningless, if everyone would understand that those that appear weak, are really strong, and those who appear strong, are really weak (like the nihilist dogma declares). 

There must be a genuine power that actually appears powerful, not weak. Right? Only in this case it could ever be beneficial to appear powerful.

The nihilist dogma goes:
1. Make an observation
2. Make a judgement that says the complete opposite of the first appearance of your observation

So, a man walks by. But my judgement would be that this man is a woman.

If it is like we all have "good qualities" that we are proud of and try to bring them up, and "bad qualities" that we are not proud of and we try to hide them, and the more we repress them, the bigger they grow, eventually breaking us apart; then how do we explain Shaolin monks for instance? Where is the "breaking" seen in them? How can you see the "collapse" of mental health in Shaolin monks? Is there ever a point where a Shaolin monk would not take the ultra discipline, stress and pain anymore and go from that kind of mentality to "fuck it" and engage in sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll? 

Or could it be that the extreme suppression of certain behavioral patterns actually can be done, even if it is by some truly exceptional individuals? So if you have a mindset like a Shaolin monk rather than a woman, you would not have any symptoms or issues by suppressing your more base impulses? 

Therefore, you can not judge a Shaolin monk by declaring that he is something of a complete opposite of his appearance. Or do I rationalize right? Satyr? Æon?

Genuine power is indifferent to the particular.

All life is weak in that it needs/desires.
Sex - procreation - addresses this weakness - attempting to overcome mortality.
There's no state of omnipotence, so power is a masure of weakness - therefore indifference is never complete, but always towards the particular: one is powerful in relation to another, never all-powerful.
Freedom is another way of describing this.
The one more powerful is more free - not absolutely so. Freedom, independence is a measure of dependence, just as strength/power is a measure of weakness.
Will expresses dependence. I will what I lack, or what I need/desire to preserve.
The expression of will is choice - the conspicuous act revealing the inconspicuous process of judgement, evaluating - physical movements exposing mental processes.

Relative - not complete - indifference towards the particular is perceived as confidence.
A particular option is insignificant only if the individual has multiple options - or superior in quality options, according to his/her subjective estimation.
The accuracy of these estimation (evaluations, judgement) is determined by an indifferent, objective, world.

An important factor determining relative indifference is need/desire - the degree of the need/desire affects the level of indifference towards the particular.
For example....high need/desire may force the individual to choose an option he/she would not normally choose.