I don't think I have ever drank wine, the only exception would be a perry wine style Lambrini when I was a teenager, which blew my fucking mind off due to the lack of drinking combined with excessive consumption. I am more of a herbal type of guy.
The smell and taste of Lambrini is amazing, which is something that struck me and stayed with me for years. After the first glass I was generally fine, even to the point of no noticeable effect, other than a slight tipsyness maybe...so I just proceeded to drink another, and then another..then it hit me!
I was over a friend's house at the time, we were drinking in his little office out back around midnight. My head was spinning, emotions were running, all during teenage angst. I was uncontrollably breaking down and periodically flying into rage..then i felt this urge to go outside, my friend was panicking a little bit due to how unpredictable the situation was getting.
I started kicking cars and screaming, then i went home. Upon my arrival, I started attacking my family members and throwing household items around, then I was on the floor resembling some kind of demon possession.
It was ridiculous. With that said, I never touched it since. It becomes a terrifying reality when you can literally not control yourself, there was some kind of diminishing of the space,self, ego? between thinking and acting. As soon as I thought something, I would do it!..
Anyways, it's been ten years since then and highly doubt I'll respond like that again, since I smoke some herbal stuff and occasionally drink cider, which is quite relaxing...but still, one has to be careful. I have no interest in getting drunk.
Since wine is expensive, there's no way im just going to splash out on a bottle hoping for the best. I guess i need some free wine samples.. I'm preferably looking for something that soothes anxiety as I'm quite naturally tense..I also have a threshold for relaxation, If my body is too relaxed or the sensation is too overwhelming, even if it's euphoria..My mind starts to freak out, then diverts into fear and impending doom. This is definitely in my dna, as my father and brothers have it. It's not on my mother's side. It used to happen quite randomly in my teen years, but over time you naturally endure it and learn to deal with it to the point it has almost diminished now other than having a typical general intensity which, at times, is uncomfortable..hence me seeking out a few substances to aid me regarding this...but if i introduce anything that drastically changes the sensation of my body, it happens again...some kind of weird catch 22.