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novice



Gender : Male Taurus Posts : 61
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 29
Location : The road to the North.

PostSubject: Friends. Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:34 pm

What are friends for?
To be truthful i can honestly say i only have about 2 real friends that are not family members. The rest only want to be coddled and be told sweet little lies instead of hearing constructive criticism to their own benefit even. The only way most will listen to this criticism is if you sugar coat it and make it seem as if that's not what you was really going for.
In my opinion, if your're my friend i want you to tell me where i fucked up and how to correct it if im too stubborn or just blind to see it. I don't want it in a "nice" way either. I want it in an honest way.
Which generation is worse? The ones in their 20's and 30s i think suffer the worst from this complex as they are increasingly more and more born to single mothers with little to no fatherly nourishment and no tolerance for stresses on their fragile egos.
Friends, in its truest sense, is a very rare privilege. People have so many friends nowadays they have none.
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Satyr
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PostSubject: Re: Friends. Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:41 pm

To admit that you have a few friends and to know why, explains why you only have a few friends.

I would say that friends also "sugar-coat" the truth, because it is always their version of it.
A friend is one whose motives are not alien or deplorable to us.
Our motives coincide, and we are willing to make compromises, in hierarchy, for the sake of motive.

In today's world of man, friends are acquaintances, networking companions, fellow hobbyists.
The distaste for reality becomes a distaste for honesty, or a connection on a level which would make us uncomfortable.

Fear is what is absent.
Fear which pushes away but also forces us to bind and bond; forcing us to expose who we are, because there are no liars in a fight.
modern males bond around make-belief battles, in front of television screens.
All is kept on that artificial level.

To open yourself up to such creatures is to open yourself up to risk, with the promise of little in return.
A shallow mind cannot offer anything more than platitudes, and social myths.
A man who has no experience with suffering, with danger, can never appreciate it in others; a man with no imagination, can never fully experience what you are saying, if it is not something common, simple, superficial.
Big words and impressive references often compensate for a common psyche.

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novice



Gender : Male Taurus Posts : 61
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 29
Location : The road to the North.

PostSubject: Re: Friends. Sat Jun 01, 2013 9:33 pm

Quote :
I would say that friends also "sugar-coat" the truth, because it is always their version of it.
A friend is one whose motives are not alien or deplorable to us.
Our motives coincide, and we are willing to make compromises, in hierarchy, for the sake of motive.

That last part struck a chord with me. As I have 2 brothers around the same age. There is definately a hierarchy there and we all know our places in it. Although my younger brother tries to usurp my position as middle brother sometimes. The oldest brother has a heavier responsibility as no one really tries to usurp it except out of posturing. Although my oldest brother is a bleeding heart that i try relentlessly to challenge his views to no appearent avail and to great frustration on my part.

Quote :
Fear is what is absent.
Fear which pushes away but also forces us to bind and bond; forcing us to expose who we are, because there are no liars in a fight.
modern males bond around make-belief battles, in front of television screens.
All is kept on that artificial level.

Do you mean that the fear isnt there due to sheltering environments? A fear that would usually make it a risk to even engage another male in dialogue because of possible physical altercations? Would you say that in a non sheltering environment a male usually would NOT make friends with a much weaker male unless the dominant male had other uses for him, and rather make friends with stronger males, ones he can actually learn from and make him a better man?
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Satyr
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PostSubject: Re: Friends. Sat Jun 01, 2013 9:39 pm

novice wrote:
That last part struck a chord with me. As I have 2 brothers around the same age. There is definately a hierarchy there and we all know our places in it. Although my younger brother tries to usurp my position as middle brother sometimes. The oldest brother has a heavier responsibility as no one really tries to usurp it except out of posturing. Although my oldest brother is a bleeding heart that i try relentlessly to challenge his views to no appearent avail and to great frustration on my part.
One can be on the top, by preserving the illusion that the other is there.

novice wrote:
Do you mean that the fear isnt there due to sheltering environments? A fear that would usually make it a risk to even engage another male in dialogue because of possible physical altercations?
Fear makes one careful, self-disciplined, more self-reliant, more selective.
In the wild the mother must teach the young ones what to fear.
Fear is respect.

novice wrote:
Would you say that in a non sheltering environment a male usually would NOT make friends with a much weaker male unless the dominant male had other uses for him, and rather make friends with stronger males, ones he can actually learn from and make him a better man?
Male friendship are stronger in dangerous environments.
a male would step back and let his friend have a female....would a female do the same?

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novice



Gender : Male Taurus Posts : 61
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 29
Location : The road to the North.

PostSubject: Re: Friends. Sun Jun 02, 2013 12:31 pm

Quote :
Male friendship are stronger in dangerous environments.
a male would step back and let his friend have a female....would a female do the same?

I can see that. A male and female relationship i think would be stronger in more dangerous environments too. As long as you are her mate. Although a females loyalty is differently structured that my preconceptions of loyalty.

And the last part im going to take as a rhetorical question. The only way a female would let her friend have another male is if she isnt at all interested in him and even so i think just because her friend was having him then she would get jelous still.
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Lyssa
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PostSubject: Re: Friends. Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:47 pm

novice wrote:
What are friends for?
To be truthful i can honestly say i only have about 2 real friends that are not family members. The rest only want to be coddled and be told sweet little lies instead of hearing constructive criticism to their own benefit even. The only way most will listen to this criticism is if you sugar coat it and make it seem as if that's not what you was really going for.
In my opinion, if your're my friend i want you to tell me where i fucked up and how to correct it if im too stubborn or just blind to see it. I don't want it in a "nice" way either. I want it in an honest way.
Which generation is worse? The ones in their 20's and 30s i think suffer the worst from this complex as they are increasingly more and more born to single mothers with little to no fatherly nourishment and no tolerance for stresses on their fragile egos.
Friends, in its truest sense, is a very rare privilege. People have so many friends nowadays they have none.

1. The fact that you say you only have two friends tells you are still thinking in terms of quantity. One friend 'can' be the equivalent of a ten if you are fated with such a one.
Numbers shouldn't matter.

2. Apples are apples because oranges are oranges. Everything is conditioned by the existence of the rest of being such and such. Your brothers being the way they are perhaps make it possible for you being who you are.

The best way to awaken another is to live by example.
Only your own life and how you carry yourself can be proof and persuasion for another to appreciate or want to understand your values.


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"ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν." [Heraclitus]

"All that exists is just and unjust and equally justified in both." [Aeschylus, Prometheus]

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*Become clean, my friends.*
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novice



Gender : Male Taurus Posts : 61
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 29
Location : The road to the North.

PostSubject: Re: Friends. Mon Jun 03, 2013 2:29 pm

Quote :
1. The fact that you say you only have two friends tells you are still thinking in terms of quantity. One friend 'can' be the equivalent of a ten if you are fated with such a one.
Numbers shouldn't matter.

You may be right but i think i was exposing another weakness. Because i agree with your sentiment.

Quote :
2. Apples are apples because oranges are oranges. Everything is conditioned by the existence of the rest of being such and such. Your brothers being the way they are perhaps make it possible for you being who you are.

The best way to awaken another is to live by example.
Only your own life and how you carry yourself can be proof and persuasion for another to appreciate or want to understand your values.

Thank you for the contribution. I found some value in it.
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